Mr. Feel Nothing.

Not being able to sleep, gives me a lot of time to think.

I've realized, that a lot of people seem to feel apathy towards eachother. Maybe it's just being jaded, I don't know. I have tried my best to avoid ever being that way. I have been dragged into the shittiest relationships I could imagine, and I've always tried to keep the frame of mind (keyword, tried), to bounce back from them. To remember that everyone is not the same and to give it all another go around. (Slowly, there's nothing wrong with protecting yourself.) I mean it's what you have to do right? There are shitty people, which unfortunately can make us wary of everyone. Cause how could something built on lies and deceit, feel completely real, right? You could question yourself forever. Not everyone is the same.

On the contrary, this doesn't mean constant companionship. You can be alone. You can be single. But when it comes down to it, refuse to give up. Or avoid something when you see potential. Maybe one time, it will be worth the shot. Maybe. Regrets are a horrible thing. Many people will come close to hardening you. Just refuse to ever let them succeed. Too many of us are hardened now.

I hope this isn't what we all are becoming. That there is still a large enough group of us willing to keep going another round. Still willing to let someone in. That we aren't all going to end up just a bunch of robots in relationships. People who will end up dating not wholeheartedly with feeling and hopes, but more of an acceptance of failure and detachment. Almost as if already prepared to walk away easily, should it come to that in the relationship.

That's an unfortunate way to believe.

It's an impossible way to fall in love.